This is from a friend I met who came on a short-term mission trip. Her words describe depression so perfectly. I have been in these places and am grateful not to be there today. Sometimes you feel like you can fall in again but HE is there to help through others and clinging to him. If you are in that pit - there IS HOPE I PROMISE YOU THAT! Thorns In The Flesh and Stuff Like That I have a friend, well several friends suffering from depression. One of my friends told me once that I could not possibly know what she felt because my life is so grand. I laughed at her! I think that often we look at people who seem to be doing fine and just assume that they have no troubles. So, after she said that to me, I wrote a poem and sent it to her. When she read the poem, she told me she was wrong because only someone who knows what it feels like could write that. So, I want to start by sharing the poem with you. It is called DARKNESS because depression is so very dark. Darkness comes in many forms,as peaceful sleep that provides rest, but sometimes it swallows you whole squeezing the air out of your chest, and as you lie there gagging you decide maybe it is for the best. . . Darkness can be so heavy it weighs down and pushes you into a deep hole, and holds you there so tightly you can't move and have no control, of your thoughts or actions or any part of your soul . . And when the darkness gets this big and it becomes all you can see, and you cannot find a safe place where you can see how to be free, the darkness is all there is and it becomes all you can be . . They will tell you to just get over it , it's a phase that will pass, and as you choke and strnagle you know it is going to last, and no one could possibly know the feeling you can't get past . . . In the darkness you cannot escape the things it does to your heart, it tells you that you are worthless in your life joy has no part, and that no one cares at all the darkness keeps telling your heart . . . I know this darkness you're in because I have lived in it too, I know the things you feel and what they make you want to do, I know there is no end in sight and no way for any rescue . . My friend I sit here on the edge of the darkenss looking at your face, I know what you're feeling and how you can't escape this place, I will just jump in with you and wipe the tears from your face. Either you have been in that dark place at some time in your life, or you are there right now, or you love someone who has been there. I am pretty sure that is fact. I also know that in the pit of that darkness very little will offer comfort. Bible verses that are meant to help sound hollow, and prayers lifted in despair just feel like they echo right off the ceiling. Yesterday morning I was on the phone with a friend. He was sharing, well really pouring his heart out to me. I just listened and let him vent. The thing is he was right. You see, it sure does look like the people in this world who do not try to follow God are the lucky ones. And so when he said that, I tried to think of something to say to help and there was nothing there. I said to him, "You're right." then I sighed really big. He asked me what I just said and I told him all I had done was sigh and he laughed... Laughter was what I was longing to hear from his voice. He said that my sigh had more healing in it than any wise words could have, because it was honest. I wish I could tell you that I have answers to this, but I do not. I do know that without my Lord I would never find my way out of that pit of darkness ever. I also know that since I know what it feels like I am more able to climb down into it and sit with a loved one as they go through it. And that is where our verse comes from. One look at Paul and you might see a proud boastful man, but there is oh so much more there. 2 Cor. 11:23-28 I have worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again. Five times I received from the jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from my own countrymen, in danger from Gentiles; in danger in the city, in danger in the country, in danger at sea; and in danger from false brothers. wow...false brothers... I have had a few of them myself.... I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked. Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Friends scroll up and read all that again. That would be enough to depress you I would think! I can think of what I face and have faced and some is comparable but not much of it. I wish I had had these verses for my friend yesterday, but I have a feeling God will give me a chance to use them. You see, Paul is sharing all of this as a way of explaining not his need for pity or help. Paul is not trying to get people to do the 'poor Paul' thing. Because he is showing them a lesson that we would all do well to try and grab a hold of. Paul learned something powerful through every struggle and every hurt. I think of the movie the Passion of Christ and what that flogging looked like, and Paul had it THREE times... wow, it would be pretty easy to fall into despair and depression after that, let alone all of the other stuff. But he did not. He told the Corinthians and us about it all so we can see Who we need to rely upon. The boasting is not in WHAT he has gone through but in WHO got him through it. It is not his sufferings that he wears as a badge, but his Savior. 2 Cor. 12:7-10 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of satan to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. There is some really incredible stuff there! Even after all he had gone through and learned and taught, he still received the thorn in the flesh. I saw something this morning. As he listed all of the things that happened to him he did not talk about pleading with God to remove them or stop them. But when he mentions the thorn in the flesh he says he pleaded three times for it to be removed. The torment that satan was giving him must have far outweighed anything he had been through before that. I wonder if maybe each time he pleaded it was after trying to endure it for as long as he could and then he begged God to remove it and God gave that answer.... each time. And somehow, after the third time he was able to accept God's grace and accept satan's torment too. You see, he went from pleading for it to be removed to saying he delighted in all those things. He delighted in trials, persecutuions, weaknesses, insults, difficulties...wow! Have you ever delighted in those dark times? I know I have not. I have gotten through them, but not delighted in them. I would like to be more like Paul. Friends, as I said at the beginning I do not have the answers, nor do I have the cure for depression, but I do have a Savior that knows how to get me through. I also have compassion and love for those who have fallen or been pushed into that pit of darkness. I have said those prayers that bounce off the ceiling and I have heard the cliches. I , like Paul, have been through much in this life, and sometimes God does not take it away but wants me to work through it. I don't know how it happens, but His power in me does increase in my weakness and I do get through. Then His power in me helps me be there for someone else going through it. This evening, if you are in that pit of depression, I stand on the edge, throwing you a lifeline.... not of words and cliches and remedies, but of love. If you are too weak to even grasp the rope I will climb down it and sit with you until the weakness in you becomes strength to get you out. And if you are not in the pit, but know someone who is, maybe this day you can offer him/her that lifeline. And if you have asked over and over for your 'thorn' to be removed and it is still there, listen . . . The voice of Grace is speaking to you. It is speaking in soft, calming whispers and saying... my grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made prefect in weakness. Listen to that Voice, feel that Grace and allow that Strength to flow into and through you. 'nuff said, let us pray . . . Dear Jesus, I don't know how you do it, I do not know how your power increases in my weakness. I do know that there are times in my life when your power must be increasing mightily as I struggle big. I also know that when you walk me through the pit, I come out of it a better person and more able to help others. Therefore, in some small way Lord, I delight in my times of weakness for the power you increase in my life. And Lord, I ask that you lift up my friends here this day. I ask that you show them their lifelines and give them the power to hold on. I ask that you do the same for my other friends and for those of our precious group who are not with us this day. Thank you Lord for not being crippled by our weaknesses but rather enlarged. You are an awesome God, and Jesus, I thank you. amen.